Loaded Veggie Cream Cheese

Two recent and disappointing bagel experiences have driven me back into the realm of kitchen experimentation and bloggery.  Different days, different Hoboken bagel-specific establishments.  Disappointing to the point where the convenience of the on-the-way-to-work breakfast pickup is now outweighed by the significant potential for negative surprise induced by opening the bag.

I like to treat myself to an enormous bagel breakfast on the occasional Friday that I head into the office. Normally my morning routine involves a harried five minute dance between the french press and the bathroom sink followed by a sad high-fiber desk cereal around 10am, but Fridays I pull out all the stops and add 2-4 minutes onto my commute for the bagel detour. The payoff is that the doughy rings in this area of the world are so huge that the workday is usually halfway over by the time I finish it. Breakfast as a time-traveling device, you see.

My standard order is a whole wheat everything with light veggie cream cheese. Everywhere, always - with the very occasional substitution of olive cream cheese, but only if it visibly contains green, black, and pimento varieties.  A few weeks ago, I opened the bag to find this:

A bagel straining under the weight of its cream cheese, with maybe one or two vegetable (?) chunks spotted.  Have I just never taken the time to look at my breakfast before? Are we entering a new world of cream cheese homogeneity and chunk skimpage?

Familiar with my own obliviousness, I inclined towards the former assumption and carried on the following Friday at another bagel shop, hopeful of a better result. Here, the gentleman misheard my order and instead said that I was getting lox cream cheese when he handed over the bag.  "Excellent!" I thought to myself, "lox cream cheese is usually much more expensive and I am getting it for the same price!"  And then I unwrapped this, barely pink, barely salty, completely chunk-less abomination (I didn't take a photo because it made me angry, but here is an artistic rendering):

Let's do a little better, shall we?  The goal is to veer away from the usual ratio of ingredients in deli/store-bought vegetable cream cheese:

towards the Xanadu of schmears, which I have determined to be a 1:1 ratio of cream cheese to stuff.

Within the "stuff", you can play around with whatever you have on-hand, but I really like equal ratios of carrots to other assorted crunchy vegetables to flavorful components (half oniony things, half herby/salty/spicy things), and rounded all off with a generous amount of freshly ground pepper.  Much cheaper, more interesting, and fresher-tasting than anything scooped out of a deli pan. And! Keeping this on-hand will cut down your Friday morning bagel detour time by at least 50%.  

Loaded Vegetable Cream Cheese

Makes 2 cups
Total time: 5-10 minutes 

• 8oz (225g) lite or regular cream cheese (I like Neufchatel)

• 1/3 cup shredded carrots
• 1/3 cup finely diced colorful/crunchy veg (any color bell pepper, celery, fennel, radish, cucumber)
• 2-3 tablespoons finely diced onions or white parts of scallions
• 2-3 tablespoons finely diced miscellaneous flavorful bits (olives, capers, fresh soft herbs, green parts of scallions, jalapeno or other spicy peppers, pickles, crumbled up bacon)
• black pepper

Heat cream cheese in a few 30-second increments until it spreads easily.  Mix with other ingredients and add freshly ground black pepper to taste.  Cream cheese will keep in the fridge for about 2 weeks.

Drunken Fig Jam

I recently had the incredible good fortune of being given a large bag of fresh figs, straight from the tree (in New Jersey, who knew?). Several weeks have passed now, during which I've decided that figs are absolutely my favorite fruit in the entire world.  Because they are usually incredibly expensive and hard to get?  Probably.  They're also high in fiber and minerals, not too sweet or juicy, and are excellent raw or baked into a variety of snack cake-like items.

My first attempt at cooking something with the figs - rather than inhaling them out of the bag - was this fruit and sour cream gratin recipe and substituting blueberries for raspberries.  It was good?, but got kind of watery and had the overwhelming taste of burnt sugar.  I wanted something figgier that really showcased the fruit instead of used it as a filler on which to pile sugar and cream.  Also, I don't really know how to pronounce gratin, so it feels rather fraudulent to even be writing about it in passing.

And in the midst of all this hemming and hawing, the figs started to turn and I was left with jam as the only viable option.  Fortunately I stumbled upon this fantastic Bon Appetit recipe, which I scaled down and adjusted the proportions to my tastes (i.e. more on the Drunken and less on the sugary Jam side of things).  It's a great unique flavor that is perfect for your fall cocktail parties on top of goat cheese crostini.  If you're not the type for fancy finger food, this jam is awesome on toast, stirred into yogurt, and on top of salty cheese chunks.  Yet more reasons to befriend a fig tree owner today.

Drunken Fig Jam
Adapted from Bon Appetit


Makes 1 pint of jam (475 mL)
Total time: 1 1/2 hours-1 3/4 hours (Active time 15 minutes)

• 1 lemon
• 20 ounces (565g) ripe (or overripe) fresh figs
• 1 cup (200g) sugar
• 1/3 cup (80mL) dark booze of choice (whiskey, cognac, or brandy)
• pinch of salt

Peel the lemon with a vegetable peeler into wide strips (yellow part only).  Cut the zest into matchstick (or smaller) size pieces (about 1 1/2 tablespoons). 

Chop the figs into 1/2 inch (1cm) chunks, removing the hard stem (you should have about 3 cups).  Juice the lemon into a heavy saucepan and add the zest, sugar, booze of choice, and salt.  Let stand at room temperature for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.*

Bring the fig mixture to a boil on high heat, and simmer over medium heat until the mixture has thickened and reduced to 2 cups, stirring frequently and breaking up large chunks with a fork/potato masher (about 20-30 minutes).  Remove mixture from heat and pour into a jar.**  Store in the freezer or fridge, where it will keep  for a month or more.

*I'm not convinced this step is necessary and was going to skip it, but ended up forgetting and doing it anyway.  I'd consider it optional.

**If you have a LOT of figs and want to do the whole canning-to-preserve-forever thing, follow the directions here.

Sweet and Spicy Fresh Corn Fritters

Many members of my family hail from upstate New York, where cheap fresh corn is readily available for most of the year.  There is actually a rather competitive bragging streak about being able to find the lowest price at so-and-so's farm stand, which I usually just sit and listen to and seethe with envy.  So when I do finally see bargain-priced end of season corn in my local, I jump on it without any hesitation or cooking plan in mind. 

Yes, plain boiled ears are delicious and totally underrated as a vegetable, but I've been eating them to the point of overdose lately and there's something about that sweet, uncooked corn flavor that I love even more than the chargrilled version topped with cheese and mayo.  These fritters are a great side to serve with other late summer treats like fresh tomatoes and grilled zucchini, the availability of which I fear is quickly coming to an end.

I've streamlined the original recipes quite significantly (whipping egg whites? no thank you sir!), reduced the salt, and increased the spice here, so I think this is the easiest and tastiest version.  They're also best eaten right away to maintain the crisp texture (otherwise they get a bit spongy), so store some of the batter for a day or two in the fridge if it looks like you'll have leftovers. 

One day I'll turn the oven on again, but until then, I'm more than happy to survive on tomato sandwiches, caprese and kale salads, and these. And I'm always seeking more summer veg recipe ideas, so do send them my way!

Fresh Corn Fritters
Adapted from Alexandra Cooks (originally from WSJ)

Serves 4 (about 16 fritters)
Total time: 30 minutes (all active)

• 1/2 cup fine-ground cornmeal or quick-cooking polenta (I subbed medium-ground cornmeal which worked fine)
• 2 fresh ears of corn, kernels removed and separated
• 1/4 of a large onion, minced
• 1 small jalapeño, minced (leave out the seeds if you don't like it spicy)
• 1/2 rounded teaspoon of cumin seeds, smashed with the back of a knife (or mortar and pestle for the fancy)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt, plus extra for seasoning
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, plus extra for seasoning
• 3/4 cup plain yogurt (greek, lowfat, or regular)
• 1 tablespoon of olive oil, plus extra for frying
• 2 eggs
• Optional for serving:  cilantro, sliced tomato, extra plain yogurt

Mix cornmeal/polenta, corn kernels, onion, jalapeño, cumin, salt, and pepper in a large bowl.  Add yogurt, olive oil, and eggs and stir until blended.

Set a large nonstick frying pan over medium-high heat and coat the bottom with about 1 teaspoon of olive oil.  Once hot, add 1-2 heaping spoonfuls of batter to the pan for each fritter and spread into small circles (I did about 4 batches of 4 at a time).  Cook for 2-3 minutes on one side, then flip when the top looks somewhat dry and cook for another 1-2 minutes until both sides are golden.*  Remove fritters to a plate lined with paper towels and season with salt and pepper.  Repeat until all batter is used up (adjusting the seasoning if necessary), or refrigerate remaining batter for up to a few days.

Serve with cilantro, sliced tomato, and additional plain yogurt.

*A cautionary note: try to get all the rogue corn kernels out of the pan in between fritter batches as they have a tendency to spit and pop with each splash of oil you add!

The Opposite of South Dakotan Food: Vegan Coconut Pancakes with Tropical Fruit Salsa

My sister, brave soul that she is, moved to South Dakota last summer and while I helped to drive her out there, I had to turn around and fly out the next day so never really got to experience her new home.  There was of course other road trip scenery to be experienced along the way, but I'm back for the long weekend to see everything Rapid City has to offer.  Bless her - I couldn't live somewhere that is an arctic tundra for 10 months out of the year.  Coming from upstate New York, she's rather used to it by now and luckily she has an amazing 3-bedroom house for which she pays far less than I do for my portion of a 3-bedroom New Jersey apartment with no laundry or parking.

2010 Sight-Seeing

We've certainly had our fair share of steak, potatoes, and cheese-covered things the past few days (indeed, more on that later), so this breakfast was both the opposite of everything else we've been eating in South Dakota as well as a nod to the 80 degree sunny weather we're missing on the east coast this weekend.  And it's also a special occasion for my sister to use up the fancy organic ingredients (coconut/coconut milk/coconut oil/agave) that she's been stock-piling from various trips to Las Vegas and Denver.  And I can't think of a better meal to have during a 50 degree thunderstorm.

These pancakes are much denser and less fluffy than your refined-flour IHOP variety to be sure, but have a fantastic spice and coconutty texture that you're not going to find in a Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity (which is worth looking up on Urban Dictionary, but which I will not link to for my mother's sake).  You can swap up the fruit in the salsa for anything ripe and sweet, but do keep the banana since it adds a nice  creaminess that almost makes you forget that these are vegan.  As you can see, everyone was a fan.

Vegan Coconut Pancakes with Tropical Fruit Salsa
Adapted from Bon Appetit

Total time: 1 hour (All active time, but I'm sure it would be a lot less with a griddle instead of tiny pans)
Makes 20 pancakes (6-8 servings)

• 2 1/2 cups (300g) whole wheat flour
• 1/4 cup (25g) flaxseed meal (optional)
• 1 cup (75g) unsweetened shredded coconut
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 14 oz can (400mL) light coconut milk
• 1 1/2 cup (350mL) warm water
• 2 tablespoons agave nectar (or maple syrup)
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• vegetable (or coconut) oil
• handful of chopped and toasted cashews (optional garnish)

• 1 1/2 bananas
• 3 kiwifruit
• 1 mango
• 1 tablespoon agave nectar (or maple syrup)

For the fruit salsa:  Quarter bananas lengthwise, then chop into 1cm ish pieces.  Chop kiwi and mango into similarly sized chunks.  Add all fruit to a small bowl with agave and stir.  Can be made up to 2 hours ahead of time, refrigerated.

For the pancakes:  Preheat oven to 250F (120C).  Mix all dry ingredients (whole wheat flour through salt) in a large bowl.  Mix coconut milk, agave, vanilla, and warm water in a smaller bowl.  Add the liquid bowl to the dry bowl and mix until thick but pourable.  Add additional warm water if batter is too thick (we added another 1/4 cup or so).

Heat a griddle (or multiple frying pans) to medium heat and melt a small pat of coconut oil (or use a small amount of veg oil).  Add batter to the pan in 1/4 cup lumps and spread out with a spoon into a circle.  Cook 2-3 minutes until bubbles appear on the surface and the bottoms are golden-brown, reducing heat if browning too quickly.  Flip and cook until the opposite side is golden-brown (another 1-2 minutes).  Move pancakes to a baking sheet and place in the oven to keep warm.

Top pancakes with fruit salsa, chopped nuts, and additional agave/maple syrup to serve.

White Chocolate Almond Biscotti

 95% of the time when I make a batch of cookies, I subtract at least two minutes from the suggested baking time.  Why?  Soft, chewy, gooey, and delicious cookies are almost always way better than the careful-don't-crack-your-teeth kind that I always associate with interminable meetings, eating them just because they're there.  I've also found that the crunching action and associated crumb clean-up helps you stay awake in the mid-afternoon slump.  But an enjoyable cookie eating experience it is not.

And until recently I thought that biscotti, crunchy by definition, also fell into this undesirable category.  What I didn't consider, however, is the hot-beverage-dunk/transformative-phase-change factor in which the biscotti become wonderfully soft, warm, and melt in your mouth after they are dunked in tea or coffee.  A similar hot-beverage-dunk/transformative-phase-change factor turned me onto plain donuts 20 years ago and I've never looked back (except for Boston cream of course).  Anyone remember when plain donuts used to be made with a bonus dunking handle?  Apparently this dates me.

Anyway, the genius of biscotti is two-fold: the oblong design ensures that the cookie exposed to moisture is limited to a bite size, and the double baking process ensures that it doesn't immediately suffer from the inedible mushiness that befalls your average vanilla wafer.

So I have a new appreciation for biscotti.  They probably won't surpass my favorites, but they certainly have a place at 3pm with a cuppa. This recipe is only lightly sweet so you don't feel like it's too much of an indulgence.  They're also gorgeous with a white chocolate drizzle, last for weeks in an airtight container, and make a great gift for all the moms in your life when paired with chai concentrate.  It's really giving the gift of an afternoon break and relaxation, which is basically the same as a spa gift certificate without the associated cost or anxiety.

White Chocolate Almond Biscotti
Adapted from Allrecipes.com

Makes 24-30 cookies
Total time: 2 hours (Active time 30 minutes)

•  1/4 cup (55g) unsalted butter, softened
• 3/4 cup (170g) sugar
• 2 tablespoons orange zest (from about 1 1/2 large oranges)
• 2 teaspoons (10mL) vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 1 egg white
• 2 cups (250g) all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 4 oz (110g) white chocolate, chopped and divided (about 1/2 c of chips)
• 1/2 cup (80g) dried cranberries or raisins
• 1 1/4 cups (140g) slivered almonds, toasted

Beat together butter, sugar, orange zest, and vanilla extract until light and fluffy.  Add eggs and egg white one at a time, mixing well after each addition.

In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt, then gradually add the dry to the wet mixture.  Stir in 3/4 of the white chocolate, dried cranberries/raisins, and slivered almonds.  Cover and chill in the fridge until the dough is solid enough to handle (30-60 minutes).

Pre-heat oven to 325F/165C and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  Divide dough in two and form each half into a log roughly 3 x 12" (8 x 30cm) and arrange them on the parchment with at least one log's space between the two.  Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden and cool on baking sheet for 10-15 minutes, or until cool enough to handle.

Cut the baked logs crosswise on a diagonal into roughly 1"/2cm slices (you should have about 12 per log) using with a serrated knife in a smooth downward motion to avoid crumbling.  Arrange slices evenly back on the baking sheet and bake for another 15 minutes until golden(er).  Transfer to wire racks and cool completely.

Optional (but looks really cool) white chocolate drizzle:  Melt the remaining 1oz of white chocolate in a double boiler (or microwave) until smooth.  Use a fork to quickly drizzle the chocolate back and forth over the biscotti until evenly covered.  Let stand at room temperature until cool.

Lemon Blueberry and Ricotta Scones with Lemon Curd

This is in no way inspired by the royal wedding hooplah whatsoever.

It's totally normal to think about making scones for the first time in years on a random Thursday night so you'll have them for breakfast on a random Friday morning with or without a cup of tea or Pimms.

Right?  Right.  No matter, these are fantastic and look gorgeous.  And lemon curd?  Not nearly as hard as I would have thought.  Only five minutes of stove-tending creates a deliciously tart scone topping that would go great with some clotted cream if, for whatever reason, you do decide to go all out for a random Friday morning celebration.

Lemon, Blueberry, and Ricotta Scones
Adapted from my favorite on Allrecipes.com


Makes 16 small scones
Total time: 35-45 minutes (Active time 15-20 minutes)

• 2 cups (250g) all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup (75g) sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• zest of one lemon (two teaspoons)
• 1/2 cup (115g) unsalted butter, frozen
• 1/2 cup (75g) fresh or frozen blueberries
• 2/3 cup (160g) fresh ricotta
• 1 egg

Preheat oven to 400F/200C.  Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and lemon zest in a large bowl.  Grate butter on the large holes of a box grater and work in with your hands (or to make this step immensely easier, cut the frozen butter into chunks and combine with dry ingredients with a food processor).  Mix in blueberries.

In a small bowl, mix ricotta and egg until smooth and add to the rest of the ingredients in the large bowl.  Stir until large dough clumps form.  When most of the dough has clumped, turn it out on a floured surface and work into one large ball.  Pat into an evenish rectangle about 3/4" thick.  Cut into 8 smaller rectangles, then cut each on the diagonal to form 16 triangles and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon sugar.

Transfer triangles to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and place about 1" apart.  Bake 10-15 minutes until golden.

Lemon Curd
Adapted from Baking Bites


Makes ~1/2 cup
Total time: 10 minutes (Active time 5-6 minutes)

• juice of two lemons (about 1/3 cup/80mL)
• zest of one lemon (about 2 teaspoons)
• 1/3 cup (75g) sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter 

In a small sauce pan, combine sugar, lemon juice, and zest over medium heat.  Remove from heat once the sugar is dissolved.

Beat the egg in a medium bowl and add the lemon-sugar syrup in a slow drizzle (this should take at least a minute or two), whisking constantly until well combined.

Pour back in the saucepan and add the butter.  Cook over low heat until the curd is thick (about 5 minutes), stirring constantly.  Store in an airtight container in the fridge when cool.

Crunchy Millet Pumpkin Spice Trash Granola

As much as I love Garden of Eden for cheese, it fails me tremendously when it comes to other snacks.  Yesterday, for example, I spotted a 4-cup container of granola for $8.  Outrageous!

I baked this in vengeance after I got home, wanting to both one-up the price gougers and clean out my pantry of some dry goods.  I personally think this is much better than store-bought granola, which I don't eat except as an ice cream topping because it's usually way too sweet and full of oil.  This recipe is cobbled together from a few sources and uses applesauce and mashed pumpkin as the main binders.  It's not very sweet except for the dried fruit, but still spiced, very flavorful, and the millet adds a really unique texture.

Options for clumpage and textural variety.  When you're using a granola recipe that relies on high moisture/low-fat binders, sacrifices are unfortunately necessary to find a balance between clumps and crunch.  Either you bake the whole grains until the moisture is driven off (high crunch, low clumps), or turn some of it into flour and add oil which will hold more moisture in (low crunch, high clumps).

25% clumpage / 75% crunch - Leave the millet whole and use maple syrup to sweeten with no added oil/butter.  This is the easiest route since you can skip a step, but you'll get quite a lot of rogue non-clumped millet accumulating at the bottom of your storage containers.  This has it's own appeal of course but is kind of difficult to eat with a spoon.  Very crunchy with a texture of crushed Nature's Valley bars.

For 50% clumpage / 50% crunch - Grind 1/2 of the millet to a powder and add 1-2 tablespoons of melted coconut oil or butter.  The best of both worlds approach.

For 75-100% clumpage / low crunch - Grind 1/2 of the millet to a powder, use honey as a sweetener, substitute 1/2 cup of the rolled oats for wheat germ, and add 2-4 tablespoons melted coconut oil or butter.  This version is super clumpy but will be rather soft and similar to the texture of crumbled power bars.


There is also a very fine line between "crisp" and "burnt."  If your oven is uneven or runs hot, don't let it get the better of you: rotate your pans halfway through cooking, watch them carefully, and don't forget to check the underside.  Evening out the edges with a spatula helps too, since thin areas or lonesome bits will turn black before you know it.

Crunchy Millet Pumpkin Spice Granola
 Makes 16 cups (probably more if you don't snack while you're making this)
Total time: 1 hour (Active time 20-30 minutes)

• 5 cups (400g) oats
• 1 cup (200g) uncooked millet, divided
• 1 cup (80g) unsweetened flaked coconut
• 1 1/2 cup (150g) nuts/seeds (I used a mix of sunflower seeds, slivered almonds, and whole flax seeds)

• 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice OR a mixture like:
• 2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon cardamom
• 1/4 teaspoon allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup (185g) unsweetened applesauce OR
• 2 small granny smith apples, diced (peel on), simmered for 10 minutes with a large splash of water, and mashed with a fork
• 3/4 cup (185g) mashed pumpkin (fresh or canned)
• 1/2 cup (100g) sugar
• 1/4 cup (85g) molasses
• 1/4-1/2 cup (80-160g) maple syrup or honey
• 2-4 tablespoons (25-50g) melted coconut oil or butter (optional)

• 1 cup in-shell toasted pumpkin seeds
• 1-2 cups chopped dried fruit (raisins, dates, dried cranberries, prunes, apricots, banana chips)

Preheat oven to 300F/150C and line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Grind half of the millet in a spice grinder or processor until it turns into a flour.  Combine ground millet with the rest of the first 4 dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Combine spices and wet ingredients in a separate medium bowl and mix well.  Pour the wet mixture into the dry bowl and mix well with a spatula until the dry ingredients are coated.

Dump the mixture out onto the prepared baking sheets and spread it out into a single layer (don't leave the edges skimpy or they are more likely to burn).  Bake for 20-30 minutes until the top is a light golden brown.  Check the underside after 20 minutes.

Remove baking sheets from the oven.  Carefully flip granola over using a large spatula in sections (you might want to swap the center sections with the edges to ensure even baking).  Sprinkle in pumpkin seeds and chopped dried fruit over the top and loosely mix in, but don't break up the clumps.  Bake for another 10-15 minutes until golden brown and crisp.

Cool completely on the baking sheets before transferring to airtight containers.

Apple Yogurt Spice Cake: An Excellent Frosting Delivery System

There are two types of people in the world:  those who love frosting, and those who love cake.  Perhaps a third type that I've only rarely encountered is the "just not that into sweets" person (never female), who isn't really worth discussing.  But frosting and cake lovers usually exist in equal proportions with a check/balance system perfectly tuned to yield no leftovers of either component.

I'm a long-time member of Camp Cake and am well-familiar with ritualistic frosting scraping at birthdays, but I do love a good lightly-sweetened whipped cream.  Unfortunately, cream icings don't hold up well to transportation, anything above room temperature, and definitely not entire days out in the sun.

But this one takes on the whipped cream texture excellently without any of the drama.  With a base of butter, regular sugar, and a thick cooked milk/flour mixture, it is only lightly sweet yet rich and creamy.  The perfect frosting for cake-lovers.

I made a full batch over a week ago based on a Pioneer Woman recipe, but it was way way too much for even 70-80 mini cupcakes (yes I was being skimpy because I hate too much frosting on cupcakes).  Instead of my first inclination (eating it with a spoon), I brought the second half to my parents' house and cobbled together a healthy-ish cake using a few different recipes to serve as a not-too-sweet, breakfast and dessert-appropriate frosting delivery system.

The cake itself is a great every day snack or brunch component, but not really a show-stopper until you add the frosting.  The next day it's even better when the cake becomes super moist and the spices really get a chance to develop.

Apple Yogurt Spice Cake

Makes one 9" (23cm) square cake
Total time: 50-70 min (Active time 20-30 min)

• 1/4 cup (1/2 stick, 110g) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup (220g) brown sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 large apple, peeled and grated
• 1/2 cup (115g) plain yogurt
• splash of milk (maybe 2-3 tablespoons)
• 1 cup (120g) all-purpose flour
• 1 cup (120g) whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 3/4 cup (75g) dried cranberries or raisins

Pre-heat oven to 375F/190C.  Butter and flour an 9"/23cm square pan.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and brown sugar.  Beat in eggs one at a time, then mix in the vanilla, yogurt, apple, and splash of milk and set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flours, baking soda, salt, and spices.  Add the dry ingredients to the bowl of wet ingredients and stir until just-mixed.  Pour into the prepared pan and bake at 375F/190C for 30-40 minutes, or until a cake tester/toothpick/piece of dry spaghetti comes out clean when inserted into the middle (check it starting at 25 minutes to be on the safe side).

Cool in the pan for 20 minutes, then tip out onto a cooling rack until room temperature and ready to frost.


Cooked Frosting
Adapted from The Pioneer Woman


Makes about 2 cups of frosting (enough for a single-layer cake and then some)
Total time: 35 minutes (Active time 20 minutes)

• 2 1/2 tablespoons (20g) all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup (120mL) milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 cup (1 stick, 225g) unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup (100g) white granulated sugar

In a small saucepan, whisk flour and milk vigorously over medium heat until very very thick (once milk comes to a boil this happens very quickly).  Remove from the heat, stir in vanilla, and let cool to room temperature (this will take about 20 minutes or so, but you can put the pan into a bowl of ice to speed things along).
 
Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  When the sugar is no longer grainy, add the cooled flour/milk/vanilla mixture and beat beat beat until it has a homogeneous texture of whipped cream (see here for great procedural photos).  This took about 2-3 minutes with an electric mixer on medium/high speed.

Frost cake as desired.  Revel in your success.

Sick Day Smoothie

Runny nose, killer headache, phlegmy cough.  Ugh.  The worst part is that today is a scheduled day off for me and yet I'm still hibernating and not wanting to consume anything besides sweet drinks.  Not wanting to eat is the number one sign that I'm getting sick.

This is my brunch today in an effort to get some form of nutrition into my body in addition to sugar.  It's got a base of frozen banana (a freezer staple of mine), added color from blueberries, a bit of a tart kick from the orange juice, and is tied together with some flaxseed and milk.  Because all the fruit is frozen, the smoothie can be as thick and delicious as ice cream if you use the minimum amount of liquid.

Another very adaptable recipe, this smoothie is great with all other berries, frozen mango, apple juice, cinnamon, honey, and citrus zest.  I've also been told, never have experienced this myself, that these smoothies work great as a hangover remedy.

Banana Blueberry Smoothie
Serves 1
Total time: 5 minutes

• 1 medium frozen banana, peeled and chopped coarsely
• small handful fresh or frozen blueberries
• 2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
• 1/2 cup (120mL) orange juice
• 1/4-3/4 cup (60-180mL) milk
• 2 spoonfuls of tart yogurt 

Add banana, blueberries, and flaxseed in a food processor and pulse until combined.  Add orange juice and process on high until the mixture looks smooth.  With the blade running, add milk through the feed tube until it's as thin as you like.  Serve with tart yogurt swirled on top.

Mom's Banana Bread with Almond Streusel

My mom is one of the tiniest people and healthiest eaters I know, so she was never one for random mid-week baking when I was growing up.  Unless of course, there were bananas that were going off in which case we'd be treated to banana bread for breakfast, second breakfast, and lunch (as long as it would ever last).  I don't even remember eating bananas as a kid, so I suspect this is the only reason that she bought them in the first place (correct me if I'm wrong here, Mom).

Overripe bananas beget delicious baked treats.  Not groundbreaking territory here.  But in the realm of banana bread recipes, Mom's is one of the best and lowest in fat out there.  I realize using shortening is a bit of a faux pas these days, but if you read your labels it's pretty easy to find a brand that is trans-fat free.  I've experimented a lot with this and shortening really seems to give the bread better structure (or a tender crumb, as they say) than butter does while using less of it.  Even better, the recipe as written is one-bowl and one-step.

 

To compensate for this relative healthiness and ease, I added a good sprinkle of an almond streusel on top.  The struesel is optional, but I wouldn't skip it.  What isn't made better with a streusel topping?  Nothing.  While I love nuts on banana bread, I'm fundamentally opposed to nuts in it, but if you like a banana nut bread, feel free to add 1/2 cup of chopped nuts to the mixed dough.

Mom's Banana Bread with Almond Streusel

Makes one 9" x 5" loaf
Total time:  60-70 minutes (Active time 10-15 minutes)

• 2 tablespoons shortening
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 overripe mashed bananas
• 1 teaspoon baking soda dissolved in 1/4 cup water
• 2 cups flour (I like 1/2 all-purpose and 1/2 whole wheat)
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Combine ingredients in order listed (shortening and sugar should be well combined before adding other ingredients and do not over-mix).  Pour mixture into greased and floured loaf pan.

• 1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons chopped or slivered almonds
• whole nutmeg (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350F. Combine first 5 ingredients with your hands until the mixture resembles chunky sand.  Add almonds and sprinkle mixture over the top of unbaked banana bread.  Grate whole nutmeg over the top, if using.

Bake loaf at 350F for 45-60 minutes until a tester pulls out clean.  Cool for at least 15-20 minutes in the pan before cutting.

Winter Veg Trash Hash

 
My good friend Jill visited over the weekend and in preparation for a spectacular festival of three of my favorite things (Beer, Bourbon, and Barbeque), a carby breakfast base was in order.  This hash seemed to do just the trick since we made it home in one piece after 4 hours of unlimited tastings.

I'm calling this a hash even though it is a vegetarian dish since it's a hodge podge of ingredients with fried potatoes and eggs - perfect for breakfast and so so easy.  I like grating the beets to make it nice and colorful and to mix up the texture a bit (also this way they don't really need to be peeled).  Adobo seasoning is a nice salty and flavorful kick to counter the sweetness of the potatoes and carrots though you can use chili powder or just salt and pepper if you prefer.  A bit of spicy sausage certainly wouldn't be out of place if you're not already prepping for an afternoon heart attack.

Check out this New York Times trend piece for other ideas for how to make your own $2 versions of some swanky $15 city brunch hashes.

Winter Vegetable Hash

Serve 2-4 (depending on how hungry you are)
Total time: 20-30 minutes (Active time 15 minutes)

• 1-2 tablespoons butter
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 medium sweet potato, scrubbed and diced (the smaller the chunks, the faster they cook)
• 2 small carrots, scrubbed and diced (ditto above)
• 2 small beets, scrubbed and grated
• Adobo seasoning or chili powder (or a clove of garlic, big pinch of salt and small pinches of black pepper, cumin, and oregano)
• 1/2 bunch of greens (kale or beet), tough ribs removed
• 2-4 eggs (as many people as are eating)
• Cilantro or green onions for garnish (optional)

Saute onions in melted butter over medium heat in a heavy skillet.  While onions are cooking up, dice the sweet potato (leave the skin on), add it to the pan, and give it a stir.  Cover the pan to keep the heat in while you prep the rest of the vegetables. 

Chop the carrots and add to the pan, along with 1/4-1/2 cup water.  Grate and add beets, adding more water if the mixture looks too dry or starts to get excessively brown.  Cook for 5-10 minutes after the beets are added, or until the sweet potatoes and carrots are tender.  Season to taste with a few shakes of adobo or other spice mixture.

Slice your greens into thin ribbons and mix in when other vegetables are finished cooking, adding more water if the mixture looks dry.  After 2-3 minutes when greens are just cooked, make 2-4 small dents in the hash and crack an egg into each.  Cover the pan and turn heat to low.  Cook another 5 minutes or so until the whites are set but yolks are still runny.  Serve with cilantro/green onions and goat cheese on toast for a touch of class.