Monday, September 19, 2011

2012: A Hypothetical Food Bucket List

One of the more ridiculous things I've come across on the internet lately is this guy who made an off-hand New Year's resolution to his buddy to eat 2011 chicken wings in 2011.  But he's actually doing it!  And profiting from it!  And bringing the publicity show to Hoboken!

Now, do I have the drive or attention span to devote a year of my life to one particular thing in order to become an internet sensation?  Certainly not.  But here are a few things of similar volume or caloric content to wings that I could easily EASILY eat 2012 of next year, and not make a big deal out of it.

Things that would probably do me some good:
  • Ounces of kale - I made a conservative estimate to a friend last weekend that I eat kale ten times every week. When I'm at home more in the winter, it's more like 15. And if you don't think that putting away 20 ounces of kale per week is a lot, consider that one of the big bunches in the supermarket is usually less than a pound. I KNOW.
  • Toast + fatty spread + vegetable - Bit vague of a combination, but think along the lines of mayo/tomato, avocado/spinach, goat cheese/grilled veg; the possibilities are endless.  From 2005-2006, I ate a toasted sandwich almost every day for breakfast and lunch until I got sick of toast (as you do). But it's been 5 years, and I could get the roof of my mouth back into shape in no time.
  • Cups of tea - I'd probably need to integrate some decaffeinated nonsense at some point, but I hit about 3-4 English breakfasts or green teas on a normal day. I've also been wanting to get into Yerba mate. Has anyone tried this? Thoughts? 
  • Tacos - Perhaps counter-intuitive, but tacos can indeed be healthy when made vegetarian with a small amount of cheese/sour cream (you know, not this kind or this kind [YUM]).

Things that would probably kill me:
  • Eggs - I've been known to put an egg or two on just about anything with excellent results.  But the cholesterol is mind boggling here. And I refuse to be one of those sterile no-fun egg-white only people. But I've got low blood pressure to start with, so this could definitely happen.
  • Cheese sticks - The stringy fun of single-serve 'mozzarella' cheese has the similar interactiveness of a chicken wing, without the saucy mess. Refer to above potential heart disease-inducing issues.
  • Scoops of ice cream - Impossible in the winter months? Nope. My summertime daily average would more than carry me here. If working at Friendly's didn't kill my love of frozen dairy, nothing will.
  • Shots of whiskey - Easy.  It's the rest of life that would be difficult to keep up with.

So. Dare I pose any of these challenges to myself? Is my effort better channeled more productively into something else ridiculous like running 2012km?  I've got 3.3 months to figure it out.

    1 comment:

    1. I'd join you for half of them, as long as you promised not to tell my doctor. :)